Lynn's plan
The death of her Dad in December 2008 had a profound effect on Lynn and when, in June 2009 her Mum, Kathy, talked to her about planning for the future she became very morose and Kathy had her work cut out trying to keep Lynn's spirits up. Lynn thought that when her Mum dies she will be left with no money and nowhere to live. On seeking advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau she obtained reassurance and some peace of mind.
Kathy turned for help to the Learning Disabilites Federation and got advice from the Chief Officer, Annette McGlade. Following this advice Kathy applied for a social care assessment in order to be allocated a social worker to offer long term support to Lynn; carers emergency break registration for such times when Kathy is ill or hospitalised; advice from North Tyneside Council Housing Dept. regarding Lynn being allowed to take over the tenancy of their four bedroom council house on Kathy's death, and help from Mark Conlan at 'Skills for People'with drawing up a person centred plan to help Lynn to understand what her life will be like after the death of her Mum.
Who was involved
Lynn
Mum, Kathy
Mark, Skills for People
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LYNN AND PARENTS. HAPPY TOGETHER.
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LYNN'S STORY
Lynn was born in 1969, the fourth child of Jack and Kathy Hetherington. As a baby she wanted all her Mum's attention. This was not possible because Kathy's time had to be shared with her eldest brother Paul, second brother John, and third brother Gary who had multiple disabilities and related health problems which meant that Kathy often had to give Gary most of her attention.
Throughout her formative years Lynn displayed violent rages and tantrums whenever her Mum left her. Friends who offered to look after her never did so more than once. Her Dad and her grandparents had to be patient with her until she calmed down as did the teachers at the Sir James Knott Nusery school and Spring Gardens infants school. Big life changes also upset Lynn and shortly before she was eleven the family moved to a larger house more suitable to Gary's needs. This disruption was compounded by the fact that she had to go to a new school in Cullercoats where the headmaster was totally unsympathetic to her difficulties and refused to do anything to stop her being bullied.
Jack and Kathy realised that Lynn could not survive in a comprehensive school environment. They had been reluctant to accept the fact of having two of their children in special schools but were forced to agree to allow Lynn to go to Southlands school. Lynn's disruptive behaviour continued at home but was handled better at school. Educational psychologists and Clinical psychologists could do nothing for her. Eventually, after leaving school to complete a term at college and then work experience placements, it was clear she could never cope with a job. She could read, write and count, could do basic arithmatic but could not understand how to read the clock or handle money. She possessed no initiative and had very low self confidence.
Gary was by now settled in at Ashleigh special school, Jack and Kathy received regular respite breaks and now they were able to give Lynn more of their attention. Kathy decided to keep Lynn at home and so began the long road towards independence.
Her parents and brothers helped her learn to tell the time, how to handle money and to do her own shopping. She could now look after herself and make her own meals. But, to this day, she still needs emotional and practical support and encouragement as her self esteem and confidence is very shaky.
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WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO LYNN
Family
To be with her family was happiness for Lynn. She felt secure with them all together at home and away. She was closest in age and ability to her brother Gary and they got into all sorts of scrapes together. Gary's condition deteriorated and he died at the age of 18. Naturally Lynn was devastated by his loss, as were all of the family.
Jack had given up his job to help Kathy care for Gary so that when he died they were left with no income or savings. They had few qualifications and had no success with finding employment. A friend suggested that they must surely have enough experience from looking after Gary and Lynn to qualify as foster carers. This proved to be their salvation and when Stephen joined the family Lynn's world was once again complete. Stephen, whom they adopted, had similar physical and health problems as Gary which meant that Lynn was happy because they once more worked at home. She was able to sit with him while her parents went out for an hour one evening a week and she shared a room with him in the self catering cottages which they rented once a year for a week's holiday.
Pets
Dogs were a family favourite. There was always a dog around for Lynn to love. But there came a time when Jack and Kathy could no longer care for a pet and Lynn missed having a dog around. So when she asked for a dog of her own they explained that she would have to show herself worthy. This she did, even to the point of saving enough money to buy one. Her Dad took her to meet and choose a Labrador puppy, taking no part in the choice except for some verbal advice. She named the dog Ben, paid for his upkeep and took him to training classes with her Mum for company only at the initial registration and thereafter on her own by train to Longbenton. All went well until, on reaching adulthood, Ben became unmanageable and savaged Lynn twice. She was against having him put to sleep but her parents insisted and she took it very badly. Her self esteem plummeted.
Queen
After seeing Freddie Mercury on TV Lynn became an avid Queen fan. Jack and Kathy bought fan club membership for her and she continues to pay her subs annually. She has been to concerts in various place with her brother Paul and his wife Nicky, and Kathy has gone with her to local stage shows.
LDF Saturday Drop-in
Lynn took a long time to pluck up courage to join in with activites run by the Learning Disabilities Federation (LDF). Eventually she opted to try the Saturday Drop-ins at Tynemouth Residents Club and now she never misses a session.
Outings
Since losing her Dad Lynn has enjoyed going on bus trips with Kathy. They make good use of their free travel passes and have been to lots of places locally. They have also been further afield on coach tours.
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RELATIONSHIPS -
Allies/Family - Mam & Paul, John, Stephen (brothers).
Potential Allies and friends -- Mam's friends-Ann Abernethy, Ruth Lightfoot.
People at LDF (now LDNE -Learning Disabilities North East)
Friends and members of the Drop-In.
Diane Edge in Surrey (Pen Pal)
Close friends from school - Tracey and Shirley.
Support Lynn needs to stay healthy and safe.
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Communication
Lynn becomes withdrawn and depressed when her worries and fears become too much to bear. She requires time and patience from someone she trusts, before she is ready to talk.
Opportunities must be provided for her to talk about her personal feelings. She likes to go over and over matters which worry her and will make it clear when she has done enough talking or when things have gone too far.
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Hopes and Fears for the future
Lynn is deeply concerned about being left alone when her Mam is no longer around. She believes that she will be unable to cope with the changes involved. She is terrified at the thought of being left with no money, no house and no support of any kind.
She likes where she lives now with her Mam. But they have discussed the implications of moving to a smaller house with a smaller, or no, garden. Lynn understands that she may have to do this if anything happens to her Mam. In that event her fears will be unbearable. She currently finds it too difficult to contemplate.
Lynn hopes her life in the future would be much as it is now. Same level of activity and involvement in her local community and the amount of relationships she has.
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The Plan
*Date of first plan: July 2009
*Desired outcome: Long term on-going support network.
*People most suitable for Lynn to work with will need to be patient, kind and tolerant of Lynn's difficulties and emotional character.
*When her main carer is no longer able to continue Lynn will become deelly concerned about being left alone and unable to cope with the changes involved.
*To be supported at home Lynn needs someone to oversee practical household tasks. She can cook basic mealsbut will need help with more complicated recipes. She sometimes has difficultywith the cooker at home which needs careful handling. Washing machine programmes are difficult for her to understand. She can do vacuuming, dusting and cleaning. Lynn will be unable to manage money matters i.e. banking, paying bills, and dealing with officialdom and form filling.
*She will need reassurance when unexpected things occur.
*She may need to be accompanied to doctors, dentists and hospital appointments.
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Concerns for the future
Lynn says -
Following the death of my Mam and not being able to cope on my own and not being able to ask for help worries me greatly. I feel fearful just at the thought of it. But now I feel that it is time to begin, with help and support from my Mam and maybe other people, to look at a variety of options and eventually make the right choices of where I want to live for the rest of my life. Somewhere that there is a small group of people who can help and support me. I think that supported living would be the best.
Leaving the family home is going to be difficult for me. Everything frightens and worries me. Everything is an ordeal for me. I do have panic attacks where I come out in a hot sweat, but this does subside. I worry about money and how I would manage on the benefit I currently receive. What if it was to change or become less? How would I manage to pay for things, bills etc on less money. Would there be someone to help me with this?
It would mean a great deal to my Mam, my brothers and myself to be fully settled prior to the death of my Mam. My Mam has told my two brothers and their wives and we have talked about it during their visits. I now see my future with the help and support of other people because my brothers will be unable to do this.
I would like to stay in this immediate area of North Shields, Tynemouth, Cullercoats and Whitley Bay because I am familiar with these places, and to be on the bus route as I can use public transport. Currently I do have and do use a concessionary bus pass.
My feelings are mixed and keep changing.
Also I would like some help and support with finding a job. Perhaps a library would suit me.
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posted by kathy | 2:13 PM
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